Amicable divorce—it’s a concept that sounds like a bit of a paradox, doesn’t it? For most separating couples, the divorce is never as calm and friendly as they hope it would be. In most cases, it is brutal and toxic—contentious, even.
The word divorce alone conjures up images of long, drawn out battles and angry exes, but it doesn’t have to be this way. Everyone is better off when two adults behave well. If children are involved, positive co-parenting is an important part of making sure they grow up surrounded by the love of both parents. If you have no children, ending your marriage amicably will lead to priceless peace of mind that you will never enjoy if you choose to slug it out in divorce court.
Sounds wonderful, right? The best thing is that it is possible. Here is a quick guide:
Step 1: Prepare Ahead of Time
Divorce often involves a lot more than just going your separate ways—it also covers topics and responsibilities such as developing parenting plans, discussing finances, and dividing the assets. To avoid the stress and eventually pointless bickering, ShayneLaw.com is one with COBar.org and other legal entities in suggesting that you prepare as much as possible can ahead of time. This way, you can easily reach a settlement that you will be both comfortable with.
Step 2: Don’t Take the Bait
If your soon-to-be ex is not committing to the peaceful path, learn how to refuse the bait. If they insult you, don’t fire back with insults. Do not return nasty texts, emails, and phone messages, and never use the same aggressive tone.
Step 3: Deal with Your Emotions and Give Yourself Time
Divorce is an emotionally charged experience, so it is completely normal to feel a range of emotions—from frustration and anger to sadness and guilt. The next important step to an amicable divorce is to allow yourself to experience the feelings and face them head on. This is the only way to accept the situation and prepare yourself to move forward.
Give yourself some time to heal, too. If it’s difficult to move forward, work with a counselor to redirect your focus.
Divorce is never an easy process, but you can make it a peaceful one with these steps. One day this divorce is something you will look back on without hurt. It may be hard to believe, but it will eventually be a distant memory that you may even end up laughing about later on.